I'm Confused
by Okatusareawesome101
Summary: When Soul a bartender dies her soul that has left her body wakes up in a office, there a child proceeds to give her the choice. Proceed to heaven or be reincarnated. I now have a beta!
1. Chapter 1

Before my death , I had been a bartender. Not meaning to brag or anything but I was a pretty damn good one if I say so myself. Unfortunately I had died in the stupidest way a bartender could die. I had to much to drink one day and ended dieing from alcohol poisoning.

Dieing unlike how most people would imagine hurts like fucking hell! I mean leaving your body alone would hurt but then you have to deal with some of the most annoying people to grace the afterlife, the angels. Now don't take me wrong I am not a religious person but goddamn those things are so fucking annoying! I mean who can just sit there looking happy and holy as people antagonize over there fucked up lives and deaths?

Anyways as soon as the pain died down, I looked around and found myself in an office. At that moment I didn't realize my choice that day would change my life.

* * *

><p><p>

As soon as I had gotten over the fact that I was dead and my soul was not in my body, I saw a pretty weird sight. There was this really creepy kid that was literally entirely wight! I'm not even kidding the girl – who looked about 6 – her skin was as wight as the moon even her lips and eyes were white it was extremely creepy. Later of course I learned that's what all angels looked like.

When I looked to her she smiled and said "hello, Soul your dead." I replied in a deadpan voice clearly stating my amusement " no shit Sherlock, I kinda figured that after I saw my body," she looked amused – in a very creepy way- and said " well aren't you a strange one, most people would be in denial and crying but you seem to have skipped right to the acceptance stage." For a minute I was confused then I suddenly remembered the five stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. "So the oddness of my acceptance aside why am I here?" I asked looking confused, the girl looked up to me, smiled and said " you Soul have a choice, do you want to ascend to heaven of would you like to be reincarnated?"

After revealing that the girl went silent and I was thinking about the choices I had been given just seconds ago. Deciding that reincarnation might be a good choice, I proceed to list the pros and cons of being reborn in my head.

Pros: New chance at life, clean slate, new experiences etc

Cons: No memories, puberty again, might not be female

Thinking about my choices I leaned over to the creepy girl and said

* * *

>"I choose..."<p><p>

**I am so sorry if I left anyone at a cliffhanger, but I'm not sure I would be able to find a place to stop if I didn't stop there.**

Anyways Thank you very much for reading the first chapter of my story, I hope you guys like it and review preferably with some constructive criticism.

And id anyone is interested I would like someone to be my beta to improve this story which is hopefully going to have many chapters.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Mental scarring

Last Time

_Thinking about my choices, I leaned over to the creepy girl and said_

* * *

>"<em>I choose..."<em>

"Rebirth."

After saying that the girl the smiled and said, "well I hope your prepared." She then reached to her left and pressed a button I was sure wasn't on her chair before, suddenly I saw black and had a sinking feeling that I was falling.

I opened my eyes, after an uncountable amount of time I could finally open them. Unfortunately I was as blind as a bat without echolocation, but hey its the thought that counts. In my mind I was probably thinking 'wow I'm happy that babies cant see much during and after birth, or else I would have be so mentally scarred it wouldn't even be funny.'

Soon I was shocked out of my thoughts, by the not-so-pleasant feeling of being spanked on my smooth ass. Of course That felt horrible on my newly born skin, so I ended up crying from the pain and indignity of it all. After that horrible moment my crying self was then taken away by the nice pink blobs that spoke in high pitched words that I couldn't make out. Soothed by the gentle noises the pink blobs were making I soon stopped crying and slowly fell into a deep sleep.

Later of course I woke up to see, or rather feel that I was wrapped in some sort of cloth and being held in someones arms. Assuming -rightly so- that I was being held by my new mother, I stopped my struggle to get out of the stupid pink blanket those pink blobs put me in and attempted to listen to my mother with the hope that I would learn what name I had been given.

She spoke the words coming out in my native language Italian, it was clear that the pink blobs had no idea of what my new mother was saying. But they cooed and assumed it was something sickly heartwarming and sweet. Unfortunately for me with my hyper aware senses I could hear every word that she spoke and I can tell you it wasn't heartwarming.

"Questo piccolo monello mi ha avuto a lavoro per oltre nove ore," she hissed to herself

(this little brat had me in labour for over nine hours,)

"Voglio pensare ad un nome appropriato per la ragazza" after saying that she was silent for awhile

(I want to think of a name appropriate for the girl)

Suddenly, she perked up and spoke in rapid fire Italian,

"Ce l'ho! Citero' si Viper per I mesi che mi avete avvelenato con quei desideri materni."

(I've got it! I will name you Viper for the months you have poisoned me with those maternal desires."

**A/N**

**Honestly I'm sorry if this is crappy or if the Italian is wrong I got it from Google translate. I am also sorry if you might think this is to short considering the time it has taken to write it, I unfortunately am a procrastinator so this doesn't really help. Please review thank you to those who have favourited and or followed this story for I am thankful.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Its kind of obvious

Last Time

"_I've got it! I will name you Viper for the months you have poisoned me with those maternal desires."_

When I heard my new name being spoken and the pure maliciousness in my new mothers voice, I knew that I was in for a hard run. Fast forward this by about three months and I could tell that she didn't want me, fortunately for her I was a 25 year old bartender in a 3 month old body which means that even if she only gave me the bare minimum to live I didn't cry or get her caught.

Fast forward another 6 months and you get me crawling and saying simple sentences in Italian. Logically I shouldn't have been able to do that, as my mother hardly interacted with me other than feeding and changing and occasionally yelling about her problems. Fortunately for myself she gave me free rein of the apartment we lived in, and doing so aloud me to discover the ability's my new body held.

One day I was extremely bored and hungry, seeing as I didn't have the necessary muscles in my body to walk this proved to be an especially hard problem to solve. I ended up resorting to staring at the fridge intently with a burning gaze.

Suddenly the fridge door shook slightly as if someone was trying to open it, surprised I lost my concentration and the shaking stopped. Thinking this weird, I remember staring at the fridge door again willing it to open. The shaking started again, I began to refine the thought willing myself to focus on one part of the handle and the sensation of pulling. Slowly the fridge door creaked open, the majestic contents bare to the world. I glanced at the goods stored in that frozen paradise until I spotted the item I was looking for NUTELLA. Realizing that I could not reached the god of goodness, I decided to use the new skill I had acquired to grab the jar of liquid heaven.

Again realizing that I would have to focus for this skill to work I Looked at the nutella and _willed _it to come to myself. The jar floated – shakily - from where it sat and came to a stop close enough for me to crawl over and drag it to a more comfortable place.

I crawled to the living room – which was where I slept – the jar of nutella floating behind me. I sat down tired from my pelious trek to the kitchen, and I set the nutella down in front of me. I tried to open it but unfortunately my chubby baby arms didn't have enough strength in them to twist the jars lid. Reluctantly I decided to use my new found power to force the lid open, remembering that I had to have an intent and will to be able to make this power work, I closed my eyes and envisioned an invisible hand opening the jar of god.

When I opened my eyes once more I saw the lid of the nutella loose and easy to take off. Happy with myself and the discovery of my power I dipped my chubby baby hand in to the nutella, and ate it with relish.

**A/N**

**So how was the chapter good bad? What should I do to improve, this is my first chapter story please remember that and well that's a rap. (I almost said rape)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Magical time skip of awesomeness!

Last Time

_Happy with myself and the discovery of my power I dipped my chubby baby hand in to the nutella, and ate it with relish._

Time passed quickly in my new life and soon I reached the age of 5. Honestly I was extremely surprised that I had survived until then as my mother didn't really do anything except change me when I made a mess in my nappies. As a 5 year old I wasn't very remarkable, as most children on my street were looking pretty similar to me -of course later I would learn that my appearance wasn't very healthy for a child my age- I was skinny and I had baggy clothes that hid almost my entire body, the only thing that made me stand out amongst the other children would be my purple hair and the odd triangle shaped markings on my checks.

Over the years I had learnt to master my psychic powers to a degree where I could probably use them to defend myself, from attackers that would love nothing more that to encounter a young child late at night – preferably in a dark ally -

One day however the life that I had grown used to suddenly changed, and not necessary for the better.

That day the woman who birthed me brought home a man. Now don't get me wrong she always brought home men that's how I came into the world. This man was strange, he was unlike the others who would usually be drunk and stumbling around the room giggling with That Woman and generally ignoring my existence. I honestly expected him to ignore me to, but the moment he saw my marks his eyes went wide with surprise and recognition, once I saw that look I knew I had to go somewhere that was not there in that apartment. For I sensed something _**Dangerous **_and _**Bad**_ in his mind.

Later when That Woman and the _**Dangerous**_ man were in her bedroom fast asleep I started packing the necessities for my travels.

If you want to know there is a list of what I packed

Nutella

other unimportant food

clothes

stolen money

scissors

books (that I had _borrowed_)

two blankets

and my stuffed and ratty Snake and Frog

And so with a heavy -light- heart and a mind full of possibilities I left that apartment for greater things. Of course I didn't know that the choice I made that night, July 7th 1953 would have me encounter some of the most insane people I have ever met.

**A/N and so this is our character Viper going off on her journey to well become the Viper we khr fans know today! Oh and if you haven't noticed yet Viper is slightly unhinged and doesn't appear to care for human life! Well that is true I mean how else would she be able to get into the Varia without killing anyone?**


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